The Problem with Unconditional Love


Note: Parts of this next section are taken from the ebook Energy Boundaries: How to Protect and Affirm Your Personal Energy Space – Volume 2 by Brian D. Parsons.

There shouldn’t be a problem with Unconditional Love, but there is, and it’s really all a matter of perspective.

OK, this next bit is important.

Unconditional Love isn’t just about more of the same… just a lot of it.


When an individual achieves to a state of Unconditional Love then they undergo a profound re-contextualisation in their whole approach to life… and in their relationship to life… towards all life.

They start to realise that there isn’t anything… or anyone… who is undeserving of love… and that’s why this state of love consciousness is defined as unconditional.

This is a belief which you can find woven throughout the various spiritual traditions on this planet… that God is beyond good and evil, Divine Consciousness is beyond morality, and when nothing is neither good / bad that there is nothing which is undeserving of love.

For example, in Zen you find statements like those of the enlightened master Sosan:

The Great Way isn’t difficult for those who are unattached to their preferences.
Let go of longing and aversion, and everything will be perfectly clear.
When you cling to a hairbreadth of distinction, heaven and earth are set apart.
If you want to realize the truth, don’t be for or against.
The struggle between good and evil is the primal disease of the mind.

But this is something which your average man in the street finds totally and utterly ridiculous. Most people want to believe in a God who actively takes sides, who is aligned with goodness and fights evil… a God who is 100% on their side, and who will punish all the injustices and evil which has been done on to them.

At the very least, they want a God who is interested in their situation, and who sympathizes with their plight.

What they don’t want is a God who says, “Sorry, I am just a casual observer, you’re all my children so I am not going to take sides, for or against.

This is why many religions have complex laws and rules with regards to human behavior and sin. OK, we do need laws and rules to help human beings co-exist… but through placing them within a spiritual context, through making it look like they came direct from God… it makes it look as if God cares, is taking an interest, and will punish those who break his / her divine laws.

This is also why some people still like the idea of the Old Testament Jehovah. Now there was a God who wasn’t afraid to take sides, punish wrong doers, strike down whole cities and nations for their sinful ways, and reward his chosen people when they followed his laws to the letter (“Here, have back the land that you abandoned several generations ago when you fled into Egypt to escape the great famine… What? New people have moved in to occupy the promise land? No worries, I’ll help you destroy them… because you are my chosen people and they are heathen and unbelievers’”.

But such a God is the creation of our needs, and fears, and desires, and projections

In stark contrast, mystics say that Divine Consciousness stands back and observes, watches, is not judgmental, and doesn’t take sides.

For those of you who do need a celestial justice system, it’s called karma. Although you may have to wait a life or seven before justice is served, and the process of karma isn’t one where the Universe punishes someone for their crimes… but where their own Soul seeks to right the wrongs done in its name, and complete lessons left unlearnt from earlier lifetimes.

If Divine Consciousness is above and beyond good and evil, and it just observes and doesn’t take sides, then the uncomfortable truth for our ego is that Divine Consciousness is as fascinated with the bad we humans do to one another as it is with all the good. Divine Consciousness is as fascinated with Auschwitz, Islamic State, Pol Pot, and Stalin’s purges, as it is with all the beauty which mankind has ever created, or all the good which has ever been achieved. It’s as if Divine Consciousness is standing back, observing, saying “Look what they’re doing to each other now? It’s completely senseless, and painful… but fascinating to watch.” If you are suffering in a concentration camp, this is probably something you don’t want to hear… you want to believe in a God who is coming to save you, and you need to believe in a God who will punish all those who have harmed you (and maybe that’s exactly what you need to believe in order to survive… The worst suffering probably occurs in a Communist concentration camp, where people suffer with no higher belief to sustain them).

But does the Universe work in that way? Does God?

Let’s just think about the true meaning of Unconditional Love for a moment.

God is meant to be the same as Unconditional Love, and so if we understand how Unconditional Love might function then we may just get a glimpse into how God perceives our manifest Universe. Ordinary love is conditional. I love ‘A’ but I do not choose to extend my love to include ‘B’ because they did something in the past which hurt me, and I haven’t been able to forgive them.

Unconditional Love is just that, unconditional. I love ‘A’ and ‘B’ equally, no matter who they are, and no matter what they have done, and that even includes Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, and anyone else who has ever done wrong, whether big or small.

Unconditional Love loves unconditionally, regardless of who someone is, or what they have done. If the essence of God is unconditional love then there is nothing anyone could ever do or say that could hurt or offend him / her, and certainly no offence that would condemn someone to an eternity in Hell… only humans think in those kind of terms.

This is a quality which David Carse experienced from the moment of his enlightenment in the Amazon jungle, as The Presence (his name for the experience) started to see through him:

Its nature, its essence, is pure, unfathomable, endless, unconditional Love, Compassion, beauty, outpouring. In this Presence, I find myself in a state of overwhelming gratitude, bliss, unfathomable Peace, Love.

Like Divine Consciousness, Unconditional Love is beyond our notions of good and evil, beyond our concept of morality. It is all inclusive… no one or thing can ever be excluded… and this is something our pained and hurting ego finds hard to accept.

Because our ego has been hurt in the past, it clings to the idea of divine justice, the hope that God will eventually come along and punish those who have hurt us… all we have to do is believe.

When you read about someone who has directly experienced a state of Unconditional Love, you discover that they come to realize that in the bigger picture all the hurt and pain and suffering and effort just fades away, like morning mist dissolves when the sun rises in the sky. It’s only our narrow state of consciousness that maintains the very real illusion of pain.

For example, Anita Moorjani, who was suffering from life threatening cancer, which suddenly went into remission after she was lifted into an out of body experience, writes in her book Dying To Be Me:

I still felt myself completely enveloped in a sea of unconditional love and acceptance. I was able to look at myself with fresh eyes, and I saw that I was a beautiful being of the Universe. I understood that just the fact that I existed made me worthy of this tender regard rather than judgement. I didn’t need to do anything specific; I deserved to be loved simply because I existed, nothing more and nothing less.

Just as Divine Consciousness can look through our eyes and observe the world, so sometimes things get reversed and we are fortunate enough to look through the eyes of Divine Consciousness and so see ourselves as we really are, and just as some spiritual traditions teach aspirants to practice Unconditional Love as a way to align themselves with the enlightened state, so the practice of non-discrimination and non-judgement is favoured by other traditions, such as Zen Buddhism, as a way of connecting with Divine Presence… a kind of spiritual ‘fake it until you can make it’ approach.

The truth is that Divine Consciousness looks at the manifest Universe in a different way to us limited humans.

In his book Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsh asks God how he / she can allow all the suffering in the world to exist and continue.

God replies that it is really just a question of perspective. From his / her perspective, human beings are like children playing in a sandpit, who occasionally quarrel and hurt each other. But God knows that each child will eventually grow up, given time, and all those hurts and pains will be long forgotten. In eternity, all lessons are learnt eventually, and everyone finds their way home to the Source.

So if all of this is true, then as you struggle on with your painful, difficult life-lessons… as you continue to wrestle with the hardships of your life… Divine Consciousness sits back and observes you as you struggle on… and doesn’t appear to lift a single finger to help or intervene… which is definitely not how most people think God is meant to behave, and it is made even worse, because Divine Consciousness controls what manifests in our lives, the people, the situations, the karma… so it sometimes feels as if, through keeping us trapped within difficult and recurring situations, Divine Consciousness actually wants us to suffer.

But is this true… or just a matter of perspective?

Are we really just kids playing in the sandpit, getting ourselves into all kinds of trouble… while Divine Consciousness stands back, allows us to grow in our own time and at our own speed?

Who knows…

But what I do know, is that as you work with the Audio Essence for Unconditional Love say then to remain stable in that experience then you need to learn to let-go of all your personal hurts and sleights… let go of all your ego-based beliefs… or right and wrong… because from that state of consciousness… they are 100% meaningless.

If you can’t reach out and forgive the person who has hurt you in the past, then the love isn’t unconditional… that is the simple litmus test.

As the Sufi mystic poet Rumi once wrote:

Borrow the beloved’s eyes,

Look through them and you’ll see the beloved’s face

everywhere. No tiredness, no jaded boredom,

“I shall be your eye and your hand and your loving.”

Let that happen, and things

you have hated will become helpers.

(c) Brian Parsons, 2015.

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