The Most Important Thing They Never Taught You At School Is…


Yep, at school, they do teach you lots of very useful things…

How to readhow to writehow to add-up… to start off with…

And then as you progress up the educational ladder… to senior school… geographycalculuswoodworkcooking

And as you go even higher… they may even start preparing you for lifetraining you for a careereven a vocation if you are lucky…

But in all my time in formal education… and I have spent quite some time in several different educational establishments over the years… getting qualified (perhaps even a little over-qualified to be honest… with a few false starts)…

In all that time, I have never heard anyone say the following… which I have come to believe is one of the most important things to learn in life:

Success in life is learning to establish the right relationship between your Conscious and Unconscious Minds

Yep, that’s it… I believe, one of the most important keys to having a successful life… and I bet no one ever said that to you that at school…

I bet even in the large Psychology Departments of Universities they don’t often mention it… probably too busy doing things with chipmunks in cages.

And in the rest of this post, I will explain why… (not the why they don’t mention it… no, the why it is important).

Because I have come to believe that it is ultra-important in life… this establishing the right relationship between your two Minds… the Conscious and Unconscious sides to our Self.

And I have found that the successful people in life… who have gone on to achieve success and fulfillment… either were fortunate enough to have been given it by their family and culture when young… were raised in the right environment… so that the right relationship naturally grew into place from their early years…

Or have worked hard to remove any inner blocks, which might hinder such a co-operative and supportive relationship, and so work to re-create that right relationship for themselves after they reached adulthood… through some kind of inner work and clearing process…

Either way… coming into right relationship makes life so much easier… and you become a lot more focused and effective in the world.

Let me explain why.

To kick off… I assume that we are all aware of the Iceberg Analogy?

That your Conscious / Unconscious Mind is like an Iceberg… that 6/7 of your Mind, the Unconscious part, is below the surface… and that the Conscious part… the part you are aware of… is the 1/7 which is above the surface.

So you are only ever aware of 1/7 of your Mind… which isn’t much really.

Bit like only being aware of 1/7 of your Home… living all your life in the kitchen… and never being aware that the bedroom is a much better place to sleep… and so on…

Which has always been a problem when trying to establish the right relationship between the Conscious and Unconscious parts of yourself…

Because if you are not aware of the Unconscious Mind… how do you even know it is there?

For huge spans of Human history, Humanity had no direct awareness of the Unconscious Mind… only vaguely aware of something operating off to the side… lifting us up (daemons)… or trying to pull us down (demons)… both of which result from the beliefs planted in our Mind

And if you do come to understand that there is another part of you, below the surface… how can you communicate with it… and how do you know your message has been understood?

How do you know you are even speaking the same language?

Well, there is another interesting fact from popular science to consider at this stage…

It has been estimated that the Unconscious Mind can process 20,000,000 bytes of information per second… while the Conscious Mind can only process 40 bytes of information per second.

So if you do the Maths, the Unconscious Mind is 500,000 times faster and more powerful then the Conscious Mind.

That’s like comparing a 1980s pocket calculator… with a 21st Century super-computer.

Like I say… the Conscious Mind may set the direction… but it’s the Unconscious Mind which does all the heavy lifting… because it has the muscle… and is plugged into the world around it in ways the Conscious Mind can only dream of.

So the Conscious Mind never really manifests anything… it only makes the request… and it is the Unconscious Mind which does and makes the actual, behind the scenes, Universal connections and arrangements…

So if success in life is all about learning to establish the right relationship between our Conscious and Unconscious Minds

Then the first step is all about learning the correct roles in this relationship.

The Conscious Mind doesn’t really make things happen… but it does set the direction for our life, long, medium and short-term… it chooses what it wants to happen.

Because it is self-reflective… it can go… “I like this… I don’t like that“… which the Unconscious Mind can do, true, but only in a mechanistic and reactive way… pain / pleasure… but it doesn’t know why, because it cannot consciously feel the why.

So the Conscious Mind is in overall command… it just shouldn’t get all confused, and start to believe that it is the one really doing stuff.

Because when it gets deluded… that throws a massive spanner into the communication works.

Because when the Conscious Mind thinks that it is the only one doing stuff… it no longer asks the person who really is doing all the heavy lifting… and that is one of the things which distorts things.

But the thing which REALLY jams up the inner works…

Forgetting what the Conscious Mind has asked for during its life…

Remember, the Conscious Mind can only process 40 bytes of information a second, so it doesn’t have much of a memory, short or long-term.

It relies totally on the Unconscious Mind to remind it what is on the inner list.

And unless the Conscious Mind has cancelled out a previous request, then the Unconscious Mind will diligently keep on trying to action it… it stays on the TO DO list.

And when the Conscious Mind has requested stuff which is completely contradictory… then the Unconscious Mind is caught in a Catch-22 situation… it is trying to action two or more conflicting tasks at the same time.


  • Money is the root of all evil
  • I must protect myself from evil
  • I want to earn enough money to live a prosperous and happy life

If you follow the logic of those 3 statements / requests… then nothing can happen… the person is locked in a state of inaction… because the Unconscious Mind cannot action one without denying the other… and the Conscious Mind has given them all equal status… equal importance…

So the best that the Unconscious Mind can do is… nothing.

Which is what a lot of people find in their life… they are stuck… and can’t understand why.

And sometimes, doing affirmations (even afformations, if you follow the Noah St John approach) doesn’t work as expected… because the problem isn’t about continually reinforcing the positive statements:

I want to earn enough money to live a prosperous and happy life.

Or even wording it correctly, so that it is in the present:

I am earning enough money to live a prosperous and happy life.

It’s removing the other side of the inner equation:

Money is the root of all evil… I must protect myself from evil

The Unconscious Mind cannot manifest a positive for us… while it is being held back by a negative… AND a negative which we told the Unconscious Mind to action previously.

It’s like we have gone to a restaurant… placed our order… forgotten that we ordered… and then when it arrives we immediately start to argue with the waiter, saying that we never ordered stake… or fish… or whatever it is which turns up on our table.

OR… second meatphor:

It’s like continually stoking the fire in a steam engine… putting ever more coal and wood on the fire… building up the pressure… not understanding why the steam train isn’t moving forwards… and never realizing that the reason the train isn’t moving… is because the brake is still on.

A lot of people are locked into a continual argument with the Universe, about how their life has turned out… saying they would never have asked for anything which has happened to them… when the truth is… if you lift the lid on their Unconscious Mind

Often, people need to learn the process of de-afformation… cancelling out the past requests so that the Unconscious Mind becomes freed-up, and can start to work through the list of what the Conscious Mind really does want to happen / manifest.

Which can change over time, admittedly… so this process is a continual dance.

Bit like shopping for groceries… things are continually being added to the list… things are continually being struck off the list…

It’s common to come across people who are very frustrated with their life… or who have sunk down into a state of apathy… (both of which are feelings which are sourced from the Unconscious Mind… and are a sign that things are bad down there… and that the Unconscious Mind is finding it hard to impossible to action what the Conscious Mind wants and has requested in the past… the long, contradictory and impossible list… which probably stretches all the way back to its first moments on Earth).

But remember:

Success in life is learning to establish the right relationship between your Conscious and Unconscious Minds

So the Conscious Mind taking ownership and responsibility for the thoughts, the seeds which have been placed in the garden of the Unconscious Mind, is the most important element… the biggest step you can take.

Yes… some people are indeed lucky… and during their early years, they were raised in a family environment where they were given thoughts and beliefs which will make their life work for the person they were / are destined to become… they are fortune that they don’t have to do much inner work (if any)…

Other people aren’t so lucky… and so need to breakout the inner pruning equipment, and tear down some mental structures… and erect more positive ones instead…

Or maybe they are lucky… in that they have the opportunity to burn off a lot of limiting karma in their life-time… who can say.

But either way… for everyone alive:

Success in life is learning to establish the right relationship between your Conscious and Unconscious Minds

(c) Brian Parsons, April 2018

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