Tantra without Sex?


I was looking for a jpeg for this post… and so went on to www.istockphoto.com to try and find something appropriate to use… and entered the word Tantra in the searchbar.

And what did I find there… hundreds and hundreds of images of men and women (and a few of same-sex couples)… in bed together.

Now, some of those couples seemed to be having a good time… some seemed to be totally miserable… and a few had their heads (and bodies) totally underneath the sheets, so I couldn’t be 100% certain about whether they were having a good time or not… but I would assume it must have been pleasurable.

I mean, you don’t usually lie on a bed, head beneath a duvet, unless you find your partner some kind of attractive?

I then tried searching on the words sexual energy… and didn’t find much better… So in the end I searched on prana, and decided on the image above (… and I do so like a good sunrise / sunset picture).

But the first images I found were so not what I wanted for this post.


I have nothing personal against couples in bed together, but…

Because, believe it or not, Tantra is not really about sex… maybe about 5% to 15% of the ancient texts use sexual energy as an approach…

No, Tantra is really about energy… and the correct focusing and application of energy… or at least that’s my definition.

Sex is one way to generate the energy needed for self-transformation… but it’s not the only way… there is mantra, breathing etc.

But here’s the thing…

The sex approach… it can give us clues… or one vital clue… about how to better focus our energy.

OK, interested… and with an open mind as well?

Let me explain (and this probably won’t turn quite what you think… promise).

Now, one of the great debates in Tantra, traditional or neo, and Taoist sexology… is…

Men… ejaculate or not?

Usually there is a case made for holding back, and several techniques to achieve this… although there are some schools which argue the opposite, and say men should never force it… and some schools which kind of sit in the middle (if that is anatomically possible)… and also, the advice has been different during different periods in human history… so there isn’t a 100% solid consensus out there.

But let’s look at it from an energy anatomy perspective (and we’re putting the female perspective to the side for the moment… come back to it later down the page).

Over and over again, it is stated that when a man ejaculates there is a subtle energy doorway which opens into the higher levels of his Being… (And yes, for all those skeptical women out there, us men do have a higher level to our Being… even if we don’t tend to visit it that often.)

This doorway opens briefly… the man literally steps behind his mind…

It lasts for a second or two… he is given a brief glimpse of the Beyond…

And then the door is slammed shut again… and it is back to boring down-here reality.

A weird analogy here… It’s as if you are walking down a normal town street, someone beckons to you to come over, you follow them down an alley, they open a door in a wall… and behind the door, there is amazing light, and you get a brief glimpse of heaven… and then suddenly the door slams shut… and you are wondering / wandering around the town trying to find the same door again… just to get one more glimpse of ecstasy.

Ah… the human conditionCamus and Satre wrote whole philosophical books on this kind of thing.

So in the literature… Tantra which does utilize sex as an approach… is trying to open the door, but make the experience of openness last for longer.

But wait… maybe we can approach this from a different direction?

Now, there is a nadi… (a nadi is an energy line / flow which exists in our subtle anatomy)… and this nadi (like all nadis) is activated by vibration… by a subtle vibration… and this subtle sound cannot be replicated by the human voice, and so mantras cannot be used.

But there are two important things about this nadi:

  1. It opens up our energy and mental body to an experience of the higher levels of our Being… literally our consciousness can start to shift upwards naturally… and so lifts beyond the gravitational field of the lower emotions / states (which is really cool).
  2. The subtle vibration which activates it… is also the vibration of sperm travelling along the Vas Deferens tube

(I know, I know… totally weird… but the thing is… a lot of our inner energy systems do not always make sense from the perspective of our external world… and whoever said they would or should.)

So while the sperm is rushing down that duct… the subtle vibration which is created activates this nadi… and with the nadi activated the man gets a glimpse of energy-heaven, through this energetic openness…

And then?

The sperm exits stage-right, or left, depending… the flow stops… the vibrational door suddenly closes… and its back to normal reality again (all within the space of a few seconds).

But that glimpse is so amazing and beautiful… that even if it is only brief… mankind has been coming back to it… billions and billions of times over the history of our species existence on this planet.

Because for that brief moment… you are lifted out of yourself… into a world of ecstasy (which is the Greek definition… ecstasy is when you step out of your lower limiting self).

OK… now… if have been following our Vibrational Doorways website for a while now… and been playing with those Audio Essences

OK… can you see where I am going with this…

If you can’t replicate the subtle sound for a nadi with the human voice… it may be possible to identify and replicate that subtle vibration another way


Yes… definitely.

Although, there are a couple of interesting things that occur when you do…

  • First… the energy is flowing away from the Base Chakra, past the Sacral Chakra… and so it starts to empower the Solar Plexus, Heart and above… and makes them feel powered-up and good… so it isn’t about experiencing multi-orgasmic bliss in the lower centres (unless you want to re-wire things so the energy flows back down there).
  • Second… once the energy is flowing up… your consciousness naturally starts to flow away from the limiting issues relating to fears, worries etc. It’s as if you go from a life of living beneath a horrible grey sky… the clouds start to clear… and you get to experience the blue sky above.
  • Third… with the energy flowing up… this energy can be used to empower positive feelings… unconditional love, empowerment, forgiveness.

And that’s why I called this post Tantra without Sex… because it is possible to empower this nadi through sex… or not… but it opens up new ways of working with your energy when it is activated, regardless of the activation process used.

… What was that?

Oh… yes… I have talked about men… what about women? Because their apparatus is different, and they don’t ejaculate (or not in the same way)…

So does this subtle doorway also apply to women as much as men?

Yes… it does… although the subtle vibration is different… the basic process is the same


Here’s the really cool thing.

If a man and a woman are activating their appropriate nadis at the same time, a resonance builds between their two auras, which opens up a different kind of doorway entirely.

Note: For same-sex couples, don’t worry… whether male or female… the resonance effect will give you a different kind of benefit… but this is an approach you can also use.

There… now how much of that did you guess upfront at the start of reading this post?

I have never seen this nadi mentioned in the ancient texts… (and maybe I should give it a name?)… but that doesn’t surprise me, because not everything was written down, and a great deal has been lost across the centuries… and the only reason I started working with it is because my internal guidance kept throwing bricks at the back of my head until I started listening to what I was being told…

… But once activated… life becomes a whole lot more interesting and open… and far less gravitational… in fact you’re more like a rocket that has enough momentum to escape the planet’s gravitational field.

Maybe I should have used this picture instead?







Still not sure what to name this nadi though.

More coming soon.

(c) Brian Parsons, December 2017.

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