Respect vs. Disrespect


So, the Dictionary Definition of Respect usually goes something like:

A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

And it is not surprising to find that the reverse… Disrespect… is defined in the following way:

Lack of respect or courtesy.


Lack of respect or courtesy for someone’s abilities, qualities, or achievements.

For example… when a teenager, who hasn’t lived, shows disrespect for an 80 year old who fought in WW2, and wears his inner scars in silence… but who endured hardships that the teenager will never know.

And Disrespect can have several different dimensions… disrespect for others, disrespect for yourself, the feeling of being disrespected by others.

However… what is interesting… this definition implies that any abilities, qualities, and achievements are genuine… that it isn’t just a hollow ego trip here.

It’s how the Heroes who came home from WW1 must have felt… when they had suffered so much… and no one at home wanted to know, or acknowledge their achievements and great suffering… because the Home Front wanted to forget all about the war.

But many of those men had done things amazing… seen things… experienced things… but they often had to bury it all deep inside.

It’s not these people were out looking for a medal… but often to be seen and heard… to be recognized and acknowledged.

That is true Respect.

I truly see you… I know what you did… I honor your achievement through succeeding in your efforts. 

Or the feeling of being seen.

Respect / Disrespect  therefore appears to be tied in with Self-Worth… because if Self-Worth is what you acquire when you have gone out and done something, traveled outside and beyond your comfort zone… climbed that mountain, run that marathon, raised your family of six, established your own successful business… you have succeeded, and you are feeling good about yourself and your achievements.

Disrespect is what occurs when other people (or parts of yourself) are trying to pull you down off your success pedestal.

As if a young man were to go up to a war hero, and rip the medals from his chest.

They are Disrespecting you… and when that happens… unfortunately, you often start to doubt yourself… and your inner feeling of success and achievement starts to drain away.

Which is wrong… because that good feeling is the pedestal… that self-pride was hard-won and should be enjoyed while it lasts.

And there are times when you have a perfect right to be on that pedestal, to feel proud about yourself and what you have done… because you have worked hard, overcome obstacles, the hard-won success is yours… and you have a perfect right to enjoy it.

So Disrespect is… what you feel when someone is trying to take those good feelings away from you.

Usually, because they are themselves hollow inside… and don’t see why anyone else should feel good while they don’t.

They are usually people who never done anything much in life… and are envious of those who do or did.

So if they come across anyone feeling good about themselves… standing on a pedestal, above them… then this rubs up against their inner hollowness… and so they want to drag down the other person… to remove their own frustration.

I think they call it Tall Poppy Syndrome in Australia, so I am told.

But the more I have looked into Disrespect, the more I find it is also a warning bell… which becomes a problem if you take the warning bell too seriously… get too tied up in the annoying sound… rather then focusing on the message behind the loud noise.

And the true message is:

Enjoy your moment… enjoy your success while it lasts… you have earned it… ignore anyone who is trying to drag you down.

If you can’t do that… ignore the small-minded… if they get into your head, through anger, or guilt, or shame… then they can pull you out your feeling-good space

And then that turns into Disrespect… when you say to yourself… “Why can’t they see that I have earned this… they are being so Disrespectful!”

But they don’t care how you feel… because they have got you to feel bad… which is exactly what they wanted all along.

So the best advice… ignore themand focus instead on your abilities, qualities, or achievements… and your feeling of success.

If they have a problem with that… tough… that’s their problem, and not yours.

Because that feeling of success… and enjoying that success… is the fuel you need to charge up, and get motivated, for your next challenge.

Which is exactly what the Crystal Antidote below helps you do… strengthens your Solar Plexus Chakra so that you can feel good in and about yourself… and let go of any negative voice, inside and out… which would try and drag you down.

Imagine the Olympics… where the person who came 3rd starts to try and drag the winner off their 1st place spot on the podium… because they are bitter that they didn’t win.

Wouldn’t look good.

But that’s what some people try and do.

Take away your moment of greatness… your feeling of success… your sense achievement.

They try and drag you down from the feel-good space you have earned.

Just ignore them… and get on with your life.

Now, to be fair… in life… no one stays on the top of the podium… no one can rest on their laurels… there is always another challenge around the corner… always another race to be won… something else to learn and master.

But… while you are feeling good about your current success… you should be allowed to enjoy it… while you prepare for your next adventure.

I think, in the end, it’s really about finding and maintaining an inner sense of Self-Respect… for your own achievements… that no one external can take away from you… and no inner voice can diminish.

Interestingly… It took 53 years, 7 months, and 10 days for me to finally be able to tie down the Disrespect Antidote (thanks Sue K), which is:

  • Blue Kyanite
  • Rose Quartz
  • Carnelian

Hopefully, someone else can benefit… especially if you should be enjoying your success, but instead are experiencing any of the above.

Note: Actually, I am pretty sure Disrespect is a Solar Plexus Chakra & Self-Worth thing, because you know The Godfather movies… where the Mafia Don gets very, very annoyed because they feel they have been Disrespected?

You have disrespected me… you have disrespected my family… that kind of thing can’t be allowed to stand.”

Well, those kinds of people are really, really motivated by Self-Worth, and so are tied strongly to their feelings of accomplishment.

OK, theirs are achievements which are totally against the law, and anti-social… but they are accomplishments of a kind… and their hardened egos take great pride in them. So when they feel someone else is trying to diminish them and their anti-social achievements… it triggers big-time Disrespect… and they usually take to violence to defend their sense of Self.

Unfortunately, a lot of Gang warfare is fueled by a continual struggle to maintain Respect… and avoid the feeling of Disrespect… or being seen by others to have been Disrespected.

Solar-Plexus power games… but from a different angle.

So bottom-line, the abilities, qualities, or achievements are not always necessarily positive… they can be negative and even anti-social… but the key is… the individual takes pride in them, and will act out to maintain that inner feeling.

Namaste 🙂

(c) Brian Parsons, April 2018

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