Introvert vs. Extrovert


For much of my life I have been shy and not at all outgoing. I am not shy in the sense of being afraid to step up in different circumstances… and I do engage with relative ease in the majority of social situations.

But it hasn’t always been so.

The first part of my life, I lived in quite a confused state about how to enter into the world, how to interact with other people. I suppose you would call it being an introvert… and that is the label used by modern psychology to generally describe this kind of behaviour. An introvert is said to be shy and inward, as the name suggests.

As far as I know, the terms introvert and extrovert have been popular terms in psychology since Carl Jung transferred the concepts to his work. Jung used these words to describe different types of fundamental behaviour that he was observing in humans.

For Jung, an extrovert is socially outgoing, and finds life-meaning in his interactions with an external world, with society and other people… while an introvert is more internally focused, and finds meaning within their inner world and thoughts / feelings.

It is said, each day, an extrovert needs to have some time spent with other people to remain psychologically balanced… while an introvert needs to have some time spent on their own to maintain their inner balance.

Quite often, it is easy to assume someone is an introvert, especially if they aren’t particularly socially outgoing, or are definitely inward focused or shy. Quite often they are more at home, more relaxed and comfortable, in nature, and in quiet and intimate settings… rather than loud, busy and fast-paced parties or large crowds (were they can often feel over-whelmed and intimidated).

Because humans as individuals tend to fall on one side of this fence or the other, (ie. they are either introverted or extroverted in their approach to life), these tendencies have now been cemented into labels and used to describe the personality types of different people.

Unfortunately, it then has a tendency to define an individual even more, by creating a standard of behaviour that is adhered to, and often unconsciously believed.

It’s a bit like that old saying “Oh, this is the normal me… I’ve been this way ever since I was a kid”. Yes, it appears ‘normal’, but then as my old holistic counselling professor used to tell me: “Normal can only be accurately defined as a spin cycle on a washing machine”.

In other words, what is normal?

I would say that once you start to wear and define yourself using any personality type it can… as well as helping you understand yourself… it can also become very definitive and limiting to operate under. It can restrict the type of behaviour that you want to have in your life NOW, because you think you have to operate under the rules / way of being introvert (or extrovert… let’s not forget them… although in our society they do seem to have less of a difficult time).

And as the psychologist Dorothy Rowe points out, to be successful in life, introverts need to learn some of the qualities of being extrovert, while extroverts need to learn some of the qualities of being an introvert… which implies that change is indeed possible… with individuals working towards some kind of balance point.

So… What if I really, really want to be loud and assertive for one day? Do I have just kiss that good by?

Why is there such a tendency to be limited into one type of behaviour, (or several) that are basically defaults, and that can hold us back?

And where does the tendency to be introvert or extrovert actually come from? Is it an effect from upraising through childhood? Is it a genetic thing? Does our karmic history, or Soul level contracts, have anything to do with it?

The point I want to make is this:

Any rules or identities or definitions that you hold onto, will define you. The perspectives that you carry with you, will determine how you behave and the eventual success and happiness in your life.

You will be and become the person you think you should be, because of the perceptions and beliefs that you carry with you.

If you believe you are an introvert, most likely you will only allow situations in your life that allow you to be safe, or only allow you to interact with people in a certain way.

I want to explain this particular point a bit more by bringing in some relevant Quantum Physics.

Imagine all the things about society and life in general that you have been told are 100% truth… and that in turn you use to define you.

This could be things like how much you earn, or what kind of people you hang around.

If there are any judgments in your unconscious mind that classify rich people, for example, as being uncaring or non-spiritual, qualities which you dislike, then you are more likely to avoid the behaviour of being rich… for you, it is more acceptable to be poor.

If you believe that you should only be getting a certain amount of money for the job you do, or a certain amount of love for the relationship you are in, then you are buying into a system of beliefs that have the potential to, and most likely do, limit you.

This is because any definition of the world is a projection of your attitude or belief out on to the external environment, and it is by applying these projections to life, we manifest the things that we get (even if you define manifestation as being avoiding X and instead going after Y).

For example, part of the reason that I have held on to the behaviour of being an introvert, or being less outgoing than I would have liked, is because I carried a lot of guilt around inside me. I really want to make this important point, because it affected almost everything in my life.

I would feel guilt for as much as looking at a woman and holding eye contact, because of the myriad of intrinsic limiting beliefs around relationships and sex.

I would feel guilty about accepting gifts because I didn’t want to be offensive or selfish.

Most of the things in my life have been based on guilt… and as a way of life, I can say that it’s a rubbish way of existing… and very, very frustrating and limiting.

And then I had this experience that turned it all around for me. I was standing down at the beach late at night, staring up at the stars (stereotype, I know, but true), and I had this inner experience of being able to turn guilt into a new emotion. I released the need to have guilt in my body, and to also create guilty situations. Effectively, I was able to transmute my subconscious need to create situations with guilt, into focusing instead on alignment and love.

  • I am now more able to go with the flow
  • I am now able to speak up and be clear in my truth without cringing with doubt and shame
  • I am slowly freeing the cage into which I had built my life, my personality and my behaviour
  • I am much more confident and accepting in who I am
  • I am much more allowing of situations and events to work out really, really well

These are all fundamental attitude shifts, and they affect my behaviour and the outcomes that I experience in life. By being able to stay in this state of flow and follow a new form of emotional energy, I create different situations. I no longer need to offend people, or hurt them, or piss them off, just so that I can have the chemical fix of guilt.

And from my perspective… YAY! … I am starting to live the life I always dreamed of.

And now let me explain how this fits in with the Law of Attraction.

I have previously explained a little about how the Law of Attraction is only part of a larger Law of Vibration (or Harmony). This larger Law also includes another aspect called the Law of Entrainment, which suggests that a stronger vibration will enforce weaker vibrations to align to its frequency or harmonic, not the other way around.

Basically, the highest, strongest and most conherent vibration will always win out… which is something which Wayne Dyer used to talk about in his books.

This means that it is only possible to manifest something through the Law of Attraction if YOU become the strongest vibration out there… or your align your vibration to one of the vibrational super-powers… like abundance or love.

This is really important because without this piece of knowledge we can be very easily distracted and tricked into believing something that is not necessarily true, and this can be limit us for a lifetime, as I describe above.

If you are vibrating at the frequency of being abundant and rich… and you feel like you need to learn someone else’s version of the truth – unless they are really balanced and accepting of who you are as an individual… most likely they will TELL YOU HOW IT IS DONE FOR THEM… WITHOUT TAKING YOUR UNIQUENESS INTO ACCOUNT…

… which is often why it doesn’t feel right for you to follow their ideas to the letter.

For example:

  • Money is a game and you need to do these things to get it
  • Relationships are hard and if you don’t get someone who is attractive, you lose out
  • Unless you are good at what you do, you are a flop-out – and you will never amount to anything.
  • High class (rich) people are snobbish

Whatever the situation, there are so many beliefs flying around the room / society / the Internet / the World, that unless someone is willing to come to YOU, and help you PERSONALLY in a loving and harmonious way, IT IS LIKELY THAT THEY ARE NOT 100% TRUE FOR YOU.

In fact, they can be so limiting and preposterous that they may cause a lifetime of difficulties and turmoil!

So what I am saying is this:

That if you believe in the labels of society and agree to abide by a system outside of yourself, you are not going to experience your best potential.

You simply are not.

You will always be held back by a collective agenda.



Granted, there may be some things that are true… (and a physical law like Gravity is one of those)… and this can be apparent to you through a direct and first hand experience (much less so over the Internet or other information-only networks and resource where it is harder to gauge what is true)…

But mostly, the things that people say are based on their own limiting set of circumstances or beliefs.


You can always try it on for size… and have the reject it if it isn’t right for you.

It’s a bit like going clothes shopping… put it on wear it, see if it fit who you are… and if not, put it back on the rack.

And, in a similar way, you don’t need to continue holding on to beliefs which you have outgrown… you can take them off, and put on a new belief which is more in harmony with the person you are now, and the person you want to become.

There is always a room for your personal truth, and that can be different from what another person says / tells you.

And now… I want to take this to the next level… the Quantum level. Because in the last 10 years, our Science has changed dramatically. The things that we used to assume about reality (i.e. that it is physical and solid) are no longer quite as true.

More and more, the foundations of Science and Physics are adjusting to a new set of rules, a vibrational foundation for reality that basically states that everything is made of energy… which forms and can also reform.

This can be hard to conceive of, but I believe that in order to truly succeed in this life, we need to become aware of energy and the way it works… and our ability to influence it.

Because even though many of our underlying frameworks for explaining reality is changing, we are still living in a time where many of our previous beliefs are still held as the social norm, and embedded deep in our culture and society. Much of our society in this particular time is structured around the belief that we live in a physical world and that there are limited resources.

However, New Science is questioning whether we are using the best resources available! From the perspective of New Science, our society is crass and wasteful, because we simply do not have to invest in old, dirty and environmentally damaging systems or technology.

But the old belief is strong… and carries this culture onwards… like a boat caught in a tidal current… for the moment.

However, as our culture starts to shift, we as individuals are invited to ask:

What in this world is true? What if my entire reality was made of energy? How would my guilt manifest itself in my life if the results were depending on my energetic expression?

OK, I am probably still more of an introvert then an extrovert.

And I don’t want to imply that every introvert is laden with guilt (that’s my story, and it may not be the same for everyone else)… But I do want to suggest that there is likely an individual story and reason behind all our behaviour patterns… and if we want to be more efficient in our process of unfolding, we should focus less on labeling the outcome of our behaviour, and more on exploring the reason it got there in the first place.

We could be exploring our own path of truth and perception… forming a set of beliefs based on trialing new beliefs and perceptions… and making our lives more about the things that we care about… instead of being locked into predefined labels and types.

Because if there is anything I know to be true it is… I do not want to live my life half-lived. I want to find out my best self and unlock the powers and potential that is within me… and express them so that others can benefit from my having lived.

The stories that you tell are the result of things that have happened. So if you are telling yourself the story of being an introvert or extrovert… why not also ask… why?

And even if I am an introvert… do I have the ability to change a little… or even a lot… take on some of those extrovert qualities instead.

After all, nothing personality wise is ever set in stone.

Be the best YOU, in whatever way that is. Only by exploring YOUR own expression, can you infold in the unique way that is part of your natural design. No one else quite cuts it. They try.. But there is only one You.

So thank you for being you as we watch this all unfold. :-)

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